He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
