hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
