Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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