Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
