used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
