honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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