I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize