If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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