Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
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