you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
