i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
