Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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