Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
