she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
