So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
