my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
