He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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