did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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