I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
