Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
