First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
