I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
