So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
