When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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