you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
