Are we in a gay sports bar?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
