Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
