You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
