i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
