Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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