I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize