What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
