when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
