Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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