Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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