you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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