I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
