I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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