I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize