Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
