Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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