There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
