is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We got so high we made milksteak
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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