One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
