you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
