I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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