She's JV to your varsity
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
