Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize