Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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