just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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