i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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