i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
