2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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