It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
