yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
