i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
