I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
