I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
