just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
