READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We're too hungover to prance.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize