i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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