I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sorry about my life...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
