Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently you make a good broom.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
