i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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