remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
