if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
