absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Porn is love you can see.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
