he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize