I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
